New place is good. Had to buy some furniture so I ended up not going anywhere on vacation for financial reasons. Cats are good company, as always.
What am I scared of? I am scared of not meeting someone new and being alone for the rest of my life.
I liked being married to my xh. We were great friends, had the same taste in movies, same sense of humour, mostly the same likes and dislikes in food, were discussing our retirement plans a week before we separated. We never argued and enjoyed being together. I was so sure of our relationship, so content. I KNEW his childhood was going to be an issue and I TRIED to address it with him over the years, to no avail. I certainly didn't think it was going to destroy our marriage.
I am not saying that I think MY marriage was SPECIAL or better than anyone who has experienced this type of break-up, but I'm not going to rewrite history and now find fault with him and our relationship in order to help myself heal. It wasn't perfect, I wasn't perfect, he wasn't perfect but it was really good.
Will I ever find that again? I don't feel like I will and that scares me.
There are pictures posted on her fb of them from their vacation last year which they took one month after we separated. It is pretty upsetting to look at them embracing in their bathing suits while I was home, preparing to leave our home and struggling to breathe.
