I feel our conversations would be far more productive if we both refrained from assuming what the other person is trying to convey. Mind Reading, assuming and speculation is not a good way to communicate. I am often guilty of doing that so I will begin by offering you an apology for any assumptions and speculations I put out there regarding your situation.

I am one of your "toughest critics" as you put it but I am also the last person that posts to you on a regular basis. Why do you think that is? I am not being a smart ass I am really asking you why you feel I continue to post the same things to you day in and day out.

If I have not made this clear perhaps this will help you out. I really don't care if you and your W get divorced or not. I also do not care who files for the divorce. At this stage I feel the divorce is very secondary and no, I do not feel divorce should be the answer but sometimes it is how things work out.

I would love more than anything for you to make decisions for you and not give a crap what your W thinks or how it impacts her. I would love, love, love that. I would heart it forever.

If you think the time and effort I have put in to posting to you since April of 2009 was to champion you ditching your W and filing for divorce then I clearly am a *very* poor communicator.

Remember when I told you about one of the very worst nights of my life? The night my H barged in MY house after I set a very clear boundary that he was no longer to do that? And because I didn't want to "make things worse" I didn't enforce that boundary. And the result was one of the most horrible nights of my life due to an argument between my H and I that was so vile and horrifying it is a miracle we are both alive to tell about it. And after he barged in, bullied me about waiving my rights to legal counsel and watching the clock so he could go meet OW I finally snapped in a very unhealthy way? Remember all that? What did you say to me after I shared that night? You said you were glad I put an end to that cruel behavior by my H by holding strong to my boundary (not letting him on the property anymore). You didn't worry about how my H felt, you just wanted what was best for ME! Did you ever stop to think maybe I want the same for you?