Yikes! Need help, please.

[K4D]

I get that, Kevin, but why is it necessary for us to go with them? Seems odd to me. I am fine with them seeing a counselor alone, though.

I think it adds support to them. You wouldn't be in the room with them unless the C asked you to which would probably not be the case. I guess that is up to you if you want to take them or have H take them or someone else.

Plus, only one of us actually thinks this is a good idea. I don't now if I can sit there and tell my kids this is what is best for them.

I struggled with this one to. I still do actually. Infact I do not tell my kids this is what is best for them. In reality, it isn't. But I do tell them this is a decision their mother has chosen to make and we have to make the best of what we have regardless. I also tell them that their mother does love them and will always be there for them just like I will.

Many will disagree with me on this and have. I stand by my core beliefs though and my kids know it. I won't advocate something I don't believe in to them especially knowing if I do how it might affect their own M's later on in life when things hit a rough spot. People will tell you that you want to make the kids as comfortable as possible with the situation to put the least amount of hurt in them and then you can explain your beliefs later on in life when they are older and more able to understand.

I am not really a fan of that but can see their point. I think if something is wrong, it is wrong. I don't intend to raise my kids with the notion that this is how we handle problems in the M or family. They will know that sometimes people will disagree and every person makes their own decisions. But I won't lie to them and tell them this is ok when I don't believe it to be so. I won't take them down a path of beliefs that I don't subscribe to just to make their mother happy. I will reinforce her love for them, but will not stand in agreement on this decision.

I don't know if that helps, but it is what I have done.

Kevin