And you could call her on the phone leaving a message saying that and then drop it. Do not pursue her until she calls you. That way you've voiced what you are thinking and she knows what your thoughts are.
I wish you luck because it seems you really are trying. As someone on the receiving end of this, you do face an uphill battle but the difference with your sitch is that you are actively trying to repair this problem. My heart has been mangled into a thousand twisted knots. I'm not sure there is a way out of this hole.
