No, I actually don't know how. Can you tell me how? I might have to let him work on it. It has a heat problem, and I don't want it to die.
I'm sure he'll snoop if I leave. Yesterday, he was browsing around my night table by my bed. I shouted, hey! stop snooping around over there. I wasn't sure if I left my DB book over there. I have no idea what he was looking for.
I guarantee if I leave, he'll ask the kids if mom has a BF.
I guarantee if I leave, he'll ask the kids if mom has a BF.
Not something you can control. So why worry about it? Even if you stay while he is there, he can find another opportunity to ask them.
It sounds like you are providing some good mystery though. You definitely have his interest peaked.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
He was here about 3.5 hours. I made sure I looked fantastic, and went out for a bit. He noticed I made sure to look into his eyes when I opened the door.
When I returned, he was talkative and friendly, said it was best for the kids. He looked at my laptop, and told me the fan was dead. He said he would order a new one. He cooked, we all ate. He told me details of his life that I didn't need to know.
However...
He brought up the D. He also brought up OM, and commented on my constant texting. He told me again he didn't approve of me taking the kids to OM's house. I didn't respond.
As he was leaving, he said we needed to go to family counseling for the kids. Two months ago, he wanted nothing to do with counseling.
I've made progress, though. Listening to him talk about divorcing me didn't hurt my feelings. lol
I've made progress, though. Listening to him talk about divorcing me didn't hurt my feelings. lol
That is good. That shows you are getting stronger. I can't for the life of me figure out why he wants a D if he doesn't have another woman. You did say you are a control freak. Did that play any part in his wanting out by chance? Have you tried to work on not being so controlling in situations?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Probably, but I didn't want to be a control freak. I pretty much had to because he was somewhat childish. He asked me again how to make his car payment.
I'm not really trying anything right now. Prior to a few days ago we didn't talk much. I asked him to be civilized for the kids, and he said okay.
He is acting very nice lately, which is making me suspicious. He emailed me today to tell me he ordered a new fan for my laptop.
I feel so conflicted now. Like all my progress is gone. I'm starting to think I might want him back. Ugh! My marriage counselor friend keeps telling me I need to tell H how I feel. He says H might want a D because he thinks he has no other choice. I told my friend that would be a bad idea, but didn't tell him about DB.
Do I go to family counseling to help the kids cope? Do you think it would be best if the kids didn't see us together? I'm half tempted to ask him to go to couples counseling, but that would be BAD.
I really don't know how to proceed.
I really REALLY think I need to tell him I don't have OM. I feel weird having him think I replaced him already.
Mindfull, I'm sorry to be obtuse, but what would be the goal of coping with divorce family counseling? I honestly don't get it.
Mom and Dad sit down with the kids and tell them how great things will be? Seems crazy to me.
It is about helping your kids cope with something that is beyond their control. It is about helping them deal with the hurt they are feeling in a way that will be more healthy for them. They are the most affected by this and could use good tools to thelp them cope. They also need to know that no matter what happens, they are loved and will be taken care of regardless. They need to know they will have stability in their life. The C can help in this.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
