It is so hard for me to accept that I can do nothing to help her now.
That's a source of anger, you are still trying, waiting and hoping she will be the one to change. In DB terms that's called "dropping the rope." Stop pulling on a person that doesn't want to move, it feels good for both of you. Use all that energy on something positive.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
