Thank you for the advice. Patience and perseverance are exactly what I need reaffirmed. The no contact thing is driving me nuts. My W was always so close and caring to me. To see her flip the switch and be able to go 4 weeks without contact is unfathomable. She did say in our last session that it was killing her. She cried frequently throughout the session.
@ Soleil,
Thank you for your POV. I know I have devastated her trust. She did tell me that she forgives me but she can't just forget and needs time to heal. She also says I have apologized before but nothing changed. Looking back, those apologies were never true repentance. I would think our problems were just a bump in the road and continue on. I now realize the core change I need. I realize that love is a choice and an action. I realize that love is selfless. I realize that my W is not to be treated like one my guy friends. She is delicate and I need to love and protect her. Everyday, I think about how I left her so emotionally vulnerable. It kills me. I do love my W dearly. Unfortunately, I was a boy when we got married and my ego wouldn't let me admit it when she tried to work on our marriage. Like most guys, it was only after I got a 2x4 across the head that I woke up. I now fear it is "too little, too late". I worry that once the separation agreement is finalized we really have no reason to talk. No kids, no financial ties, separate friends.
