Again, like Junco said, it's great that you are acknowledging your part of this, which is a huge first step. I am a WAW who is married to a man like you describe yourself being. You can read up on my sitch if you like. So from my POV, when someone pushes you away, especially the one person in the world who promised to be there for you no matter what, over time it really does start to rip you apart. It's very hard once you have reached that very low point to trust in good faith that someone is sincere with wanting to change.
You are doing an excellent job by getting counselling for yourself and realizing where you were wrong. She also needs to accept her half in this.
As for the mysterious phone calls, sounds like she could be talking to a man.
