Wife lost her love for me - my story

[TomLost Love]

Thanks for your advice - it definitely helps to hear from folks - I never know if what I am doing or thinkinbg of doing is the best path - but you just have to keeping blazing that path I guess - even if you make mistakes along the way.

So - a few answers to some of the questions:

Yes - I know the 23 yr old has to be out on his own and away from my wife - the two of them are toxic for each other. he is just getting on his feet and just gotten back to working part time to get started again - so I am planning to try to get him out within the next month if I can.

Wife - she works 3 days a week babysitting - part time.
I know she communicates a lot with her circle of female friends on Facebook - but she won't "friend" me, so I dont really know for sure. I really believe she is not having an affair (she is not out of house much really), but you may be right about an emotional one. She does shut the bedroom door at times when she is on line, at other times she freely leaves it open. I don't know how she would take any feedback from me about seeing a Doctor - she refused to go to a marriage therapist/counselor with me saying they are a waste of time and she doesn't believe that will work. She says she needs a big change in her life to get away from the life we have evolved into - she's ashamed/embarrassed about the addiction and problems we have endured, the people at our daughter's school are clickish, and she (we) are outsiders to most of them, she has brought up moving out of state several times once the house is sold, has no intention of limiting my access to my daughters and wants me to live near them, even if we move out of state. She is really "all over the place" with her thinking. She can be nice and cordial to me one day, and the next tell me she no longer has answers to my personal questions that I might ask. She will talk with me with tears about moving and finding "peace" and then next day will have angry attitude and nasty temperment towards me - like I beat her or something.

I'll come back on later.....