Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

I am not ready to do plan B/ going dark (as I can) yet. So I am continuing the same for now... Reason being? He is still in the A, but he hasn't brought up divorce. So my current plan is working to "stall" the divorce. Sure, you could argue "he'll do this forever!" but come on--that is ridiculous! NO he won't! Either I will do something different to rock the boat, or OW will crack before me. The weird thing is now it has been about a year since I was ahem, er "intimate between the sheets" with him. I worry that he will forget that he once found me irresistible. I guess I need to flirt to help that out.

My friend came to visit during the day. We had a good visit, ordered Chinese food for delivery, caught up on gossip, current events and played with my son.

WH came over after work and I stayed cheerful (but I was pissed off inside!) and brought up current events (it was helpful to have caught up with my friend so it was fresh on my mind). We conversed and this is a good thing because I am trying to find other things to talk about with him as well as just our son. I also managed to ask q's about him that I didn't know. Then I worked out, made dinner, and we watched TV. He stayed for the extra 20 minutes after S was asleep to "make sure" he was sleeping deeply.

I have managed to get compliments from him now for cooking and cleaning, so my next goal is to hear him compliment me on my appearance. That would be a "lover" kind of compliment versus "wifely" or "mother." I've lost 38 pounds so far! He must see it.

About the flirting...I feel weird and uncomfortable doing it because it is the one thing I'm not giving him...no affection or sex. Not while he is with another woman.

Tomorrow my aunt and cousins are visiting and then tomorrow night I'll be going out with teacher friends for drinks.