Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

I really am trying to do this with dignity and self-respect. I'm not doing this out of malice or resentment. It really is what I feel is best for S7 and myself. I was pretty impressed with L. He respects my wishes to not break out with the "big guns" up front which could probably destroy any possibility of civility between W and I, but he also recognizes that he's got a lot to work with should she put up a fight, and is willing to play hardball if necessary. He seems to know his stuff. Of the list of questions I had for him (based on a lot of threads here), he had already covered 95% of them before I had a chance to ask at the end of our meeting.

The visitation schedule as it will be filed is pretty lean, only one overnight visit every other weekend. However, I really do want W to be a part of S7's life, if that's what she chooses. She tells me how much she misses him and regrets the time lost with him. So far, her actions have contradicted her words. W has never called S7 to say goodnight since she left, didn't want him on Christmas, or even call to talk to him that day (it had been 1 week since she had last seen/spoken to him) and has cancelled numerous sleepovers/visitation opportunities in the past two months. But if she really wants to spend quality time him, I will work with her to allow it in between the written schedule within reason. I'm not trying to take her child away from her, I simply want what's best for S7.

I can only hope and pray that I can help her see it this way. On top of being best for S7, it's what's best for W. She wants to go back to school and train for a career that doesn't involve pouring beers or waiting tables. Due to her limited income, she can get grants for an education once the D is final. She wants out of all the debt that she's incurred over the years, which she will be able to bankrupt and wipe out (wish I could!). She wants her "exciting" life and independence, which she will have in abundance. W will have a chance to focus on her mental illness and her lack of self-esteem/respect. She will have an opportunity to start her life over and make something of herself...step up, grow up and become the person that SHE can love and respect. I want that for W. I truly want her to be happy with her life. Whether or not she will do these things is totally in her hands. She has to want it for herself.