hi all. Nursing back from a bad nite with a virus..chills, fever aches. miserable. Advil and steam helps. Wife gave me a foot and hand massage this morning for a good 30 mins. really helped my pain and made me feel cared for. I no you cant hang your hat on That alone but feels good nevertheless. GAL has been tough this week , it's seems harder during the holidays. A friend and colleague is going on a conference-symposium in about three weeks to Brazil. He suggested that i should go. I'm thinking about it although it may be pricey. I'm going to check how much. Maybe it's a big step in GAL? comments??
A friend and colleague is going on a conference-symposium in about three weeks to Brazil. He suggested that i should go. I'm thinking about it although it may be pricey. I'm going to check how much. Maybe it's a big step in GAL? comments??
If it is something you really want to do for yourself, then I think you should go. However, if you go thinking this will work toward pulling her toward you in the MR.....then don't do it since it is so expensive.
Rob, I went back over your thread again and I see places that I think you may misunderstand the applications. Like when I spoke of you being more agressive, you thought of it as in terms of ML. I was talking in all ways. You making decisions about things, maybe being more vocal in expressing your POV, or making the first move toward some other application. It isn't all about sex. And these things I am talking about is where she will begin to have more respect for you.
I believe you are way to clingy and needy and that comes across to her very loudly. Your fear is obvious, so she reads that loud and clear. I think the only way you are going to get yourself out of that mode is to find the strength to drop the rope you have tied to her emotionally.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
once again sandi, you seem to "know" me. It pains me to know i'm "wimpy" in a way. What's even more painful is trying to be less of that. I seem to be stuck.??and stuck sucks! If you can, let me know some ways to "drop the rope" . thanks
I do have to agree with Sandi that some clinginess and neediness comes through in your posts, you remind me a lot of myself! I am working through the no more mr nice guy program trying to correct this. If I ever get another chance with my W, I will be much stronger as a husband and will no longer spend all of my energy focusing on my W. Stay strong and heed the advice of the experts here.
As far as dropping the rope is concerned, there is no real secret to it. It is about finding the courage, faith, strength, etc. to face the fear of having to move forward in life, potentially without your W. I personally have not arrived at that point yet, it isn't easy to be sure. Some folks get there quickly, some take longer. The point is to keep working towards it.
I was just thinking that today, the more I hold on, the more I extend the suffering. I was also reading some of Gucci's posts on Kempers thread. Good stuff!
Just frustration...mostly with myself. Feels like my heads gonna explode sometimes. I have moments of anger, but don't know how or where to direct them. Then it gets turned inward and i get depressed and down. Not Good!
