I do have to agree with Sandi that some clinginess and neediness comes through in your posts, you remind me a lot of myself! I am working through the no more mr nice guy program trying to correct this. If I ever get another chance with my W, I will be much stronger as a husband and will no longer spend all of my energy focusing on my W. Stay strong and heed the advice of the experts here.
As far as dropping the rope is concerned, there is no real secret to it. It is about finding the courage, faith, strength, etc. to face the fear of having to move forward in life, potentially without your W. I personally have not arrived at that point yet, it isn't easy to be sure. Some folks get there quickly, some take longer. The point is to keep working towards it.
