Need Some Qwik Advice

[OnceBurdened]

Pulled the trigger and e-mailed atty. He was out when I called so I emailed him to go ahead and file it dispite her instructions to hold it til after 1st.

I told her (since technically he is her atty) and she wanted to know why, I said I wasn't waiting she said OK.

Packing her closet with all her sh*t right now, gonna take kids and have dinner before she gets home.

Right now she isn't worth the effort - I'll see what happens next.

[robx]

Don't react emotionally, you sound angry,
I'm not saying that you can't acknowledge that anger or express it in some form or fashion, just remember that you're a new man now, you don't react emotionally, you don't get all crazy angry, you also don't want to frighten your kids with your erratic behavior either.

Cool, calm, confident is your new way now.

- You're doing this because you want to do this,
- You're doing this because you don't want to live in limbo anymore and you are charting your course in a direction out of limbo.

[Greek]

Pulled the trigger and e-mailed atty. He was out when I called so I emailed him to go ahead and file it dispite her instructions to hold it til after 1st.

I told her (since technically he is her atty) and she wanted to know why, I said I wasn't waiting she said OK.

Packing her closet with all her sh*t right now, gonna take kids and have dinner before she gets home.

Right now she isn't worth the effort - I'll see what happens next.

Ditto what Robx said. If you act crazy mad, the thing will become about YOU being CRAZY MAD. The thing - having to leave her family home - MUST be about her persistence with the OM. You do NOT want it to be about anything else.

Keep us posted.
Greek

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Agree with Robx and the Greek. Strong men are calm, confident, and they ACT, not RE-act.

Puppy

[Greek]

I told her (since technically he is her atty) and she wanted to know why, I said I wasn't waiting she said OK.

Answer: "B/c I told you if there was contact, you would have to leave."

Keep us posted!
Greek

[Greek]

We don't often agree...so it's worth pointing out when it happens...like Haley's Comet
Greek

[OnceBurdened]

Okay I get it - I may have screwed up last nite when she asked me to get in touch with SIL to arrange pick up of Nephew for visit. I told her I would handle it. While on the way to get him she calls and tried to turn it into me being sh*tty b/c I didn't let her know and she would have picked him up. We actually passed each other.

I told her - " You said you were going to look at apartments and asked me to call her- I said I'd handle it and I did."

She said "Why are you being that way - I can't do this with you right now"

I said " I don't know what I'm doing besides what I said i would do, and if you don't like it don't call me."

Nothing was said the remainder of the nite.

Than this morning as I headed to the shop ( That's where i drink my coffee and read DR & DB!) I started her car to warm it up. After she left she texted me.

" Can you call around to see what it would cost for a couple of tires for me?"

I haven't responded- don't feel like I should - big girl, big world - she can figure it out.

I know it's a contridiction -starting her car than not helping her with the tires - I guess I should have let her start her day in a cold car!

[OnceBurdened]

rob -

I appreciate your input.

So, Tell me how do you mask anger? It's there it's real, all I am trying to do is manage it. Not be sh*tty, spiteful, or instigate.

I try to stay on point with my message. But when your talking to the wall - it is frustrating which leads to a cheeseless tunnel. I get p*d when I get trapped without lunch!

I tried to keep her from moving out and getting the D. Now I am pushing it that wasn't the slice I was looking for.

I guess she isn't either.

[Greek]

I told her - " You said you were going to look at apartments and asked me to call her- I said I'd handle it and I did."

Seems reasonable to me. You told her you would handle it...she just didn't believe/trust that you would. Her deal.

I know it's a contridiction -starting her car than not helping her with the tires - I guess I should have let her start her day in a cold car!

Yes, you are setting yourself up for a mixed message. You could salvage it by not actually getting the tires, or even the prices, but texting/emailing her the name of the business you bought them at last time, provide a phone number for the business and a quick :"This is where I purchased tires for your car last time. Give 'em a call - they can set you up."

I know you know this, but let me repeat - by carrying on with the OM, she telegraphs that you are not her partner anymore. Getting her tires is the kind of thing you would have been happy to do when you two were partners, but she has changed that.

Greek

[OnceBurdened]

I was going to get a storage unit in town and start moving the boxes of her stuff I packed already ( pics, books, china, dishes, etc.) is that to much?

It helps me actually.