You don't know what your kids think. You're projecting your feelings onto them.
Kevin, as counterintuitive to you as it may seem, your wife will not care until you don't care. Until you realize that, and people here have been pretty much telling you that for a long time, you'll be stuck.
I think even if I choose not to care, she still won't care. I don't think she will care either way.
Kevin
Then that's all the more reson to start living your life for YOU and YOUR DAUGHTERS. Period.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.