The recruiter did respond, and the Army is not currently making waivers for anyone convicted of a felony. But I am going to speak to the local office anyway and wait to see if the policy changes - they frequently do. Especially when they can't meet quotas.
On another note, I am considering a couple new moves but would like some input. First of all the following is a message I am thinking about sending to my in-laws:
I believe I owe you an apology. While I had some valid points and complaints, my previous e-mail was over-the-top. I do apologize for my rudeness. I have forgotten what I’ve told to whom at this point, so let me update you if I haven’t already. In August I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder – something that probably should have been spotted and addressed years ago - and that is why I have been on mood stabilizers. They are helping a lot. But I am now learning to cope with all of the effects it has had on my life.
I am also undergoing some personality upgrades as a result of a clearer mind. One of the main ones is learning to actually speak up. I have a very well-developed sense of socially acceptable behavior and the importance of not making waves in life. But I took it to unhealthy levels. I have allowed myself to become a doormat, and a miserable one at that. But expressing myself is apparently a learned skill, and I am not particularly good at it yet. I’ve gone from saying nothing to speaking harshly and rudely. Again, I am sorry for what translates to an e-mailed temper tantrum. It was not well done of me. Here is what I should have said:
I wish you had asked me about the electronic toy beforehand and given me some time to consider the exception to the rule. The same goes for sweets; I really prefer they not have them except in very small quantities. S4 has become something of a discipline problem and I am looking for both the source of his behavior as well as some sort of solution. Please don’t take them to the doctor or given them any medicine or herbal remedies. I don’t like anyone but me medicating them. I am very uncomfortable with your religion and don’t care to have the boys exposed to it, though of course when they spend time with you I expect that they will spend time with your friends too. Social interaction is healthy, but I really do not want them at the Kingdom Hall please.
I hope you will continue to call us and mail the boys – they really do love it.
Again, I’m sorry that my learning curve with changing my personality has been unpleasant.
So that's the message I'm considering sending. But here's the thing - I always apologize. I apologize for everything, including many things that are not my fault, or in situations in which I have done nothing wrong or had the right to be mad. I am simply the sort of person who doesn't like tension, so I do whatever it takes to get rid of it. I don't like the message for this reason.
I'm also considering exposing the A to my family and his. I feel like I'm losing my mind keeping this secret. I don't want to make it harder for H when he comes back to our M. But my dad always asks "Has H called you today?" or "So how's H?" I don't want to be asked. And maybe my parents can help me, so long as they understand that I want reconciliation not retaliation. If I do expose the A the message for my in-laws will also include this paragraph:
Also, you are not wrong that there are problems with H and me. I wanted before to shut you out to protect him from backlash. He wants a divorce that I am not willing to give him. There is another woman involved, but I’d rather not discuss it any further at all. I tell you this not to make your relationship with H any harder, but rather because I cannot bear to keep everything to myself anymore. As I say, I do not want to talk about it or explain anymore until it becomes absolutely necessary. I have every hope of reconciling our differences, and we are still moving to Arizona as planned.
What do you think? Am I simply placating and reversing myself?
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
