Just breathe! Yes, keeping busy helps you to focus on something other than your h. Make a list of the things that you've put on the back burner and never had the time to do. That list should carry through for a while.
Take it one day at a time. Focus on the here and now. If you have to go through counseling for two years, why are you worrying about it right now? Who is to say that he will even go to counseling? But, if he does, he will not continue to go....if they do go, it's only for a short period of time because they want the counselor to agree that the marriage is over. You need to go for your peace of mind and not worry about him.
Dealing w/MLC is totally different than dealing w/a normal, rational individual. You cannot talk to a MLCer about relationships, marriage and you, i.e., coming back home. They do not want to hear it. You have to understand that you are dealing with the child your h use to be and not the man he was. The child is rebelling and doesn't want any authority figure in their lives, no responsibility, nothing from us. They want to be free adn to spend their money however they want and when they want. They want to experiment, sometimes w/drugs, alcohol, gambling and yes....the opposite sex. This is the time that they question their own identity and where they thought that they should be by now. You are not part of that journey. That's why you can not pursue, cry, whine or beg. You cannot have a rational conversation w/them because their minds are mush. Oh, did I forget to mention that their memory is gone too. They forget things. Do not rely on him.
Now, breathe! Take it one step at a time and do not try to predict what the future may or may not be. Live your life to the fullest each and every day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
