For me to not care any longer would mean for me to also not care about what my kids want, need and is best for them which is an intact family that is healed and fixed.
You don't know what your kids think. You're projecting your feelings onto them.
Kevin, as counterintuitive to you as it may seem, your wife will not care until you don't care. Until you realize that, and people here have been pretty much telling you that for a long time, you'll be stuck.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
