IMO your W wants both of you to have stable jobs before she files for D. Instead of just saying that (IMO of course) she is presenting it like the two of you will help each other so her real motives aren't the spotlight. I also think that is why she keeps asking you about the lease and what apartment you will choose. I feel she wants you both to be settled and gainfully employed before she proceeds with the D.
My 2x4 is once you found out you might have roadside coverage you still asked your W how to use that resource when you easily could have figured it out on your own.
If you don't want to help each other with jobs then why did you agree with her on IM that it would be a good thing? IMO you missed a good chance to set a boundary and let her know that your job search and the resources and contacts you have are not for sharing!
Think about it - she makes more money than you and has for a while therefore there is a good chance she would be paying support to you if once you do divorce you have 50/50 custody. She will not want to do that so her plan " to help each other find better jobs" certainly, IMO, has motives that are not quite as she stated.
