Positive developments? #2

[MichelleLT]

Good job with the validation, listening, and nice upswing in communication. Great job with the GAL

Have a very Merry Christmas, make it the best one yet!

[jon2911]

Great time last night and today in my favorite city, San Antonio! It's just me, my little brother, and my parents, my other brother and sister are with their in-laws. We've made a good time of it, loved watching the Lakers lose also!

I think I'll call in a bit and wish W a Merry Christmas. Don't know if she's with GFIL yet.

[jon2911]

Called at 11:15 and woke W up to wish her a Merry Christmas. She sounded really sweet, and I let her go back to sleep. She called back at 1:00 AM and left me a nice voicemail.

I remember a wise friend in college told me "you'll be able to tell when things are going good, when you call and wake her up and instead of getting mad she's nice." So true, in every dating relationship I've had, and it was a thrill last night.

Tonight W called at 9:00, she's at her grandparents and was having trouble going to sleep. She said she'll be there until Tuesday or Wednesday taking care of them while her aunt and her husband go to the Independence Bowl in Louisiana. She said she can't handle more than a couple days with them, so this will be hard.

Interestingly, W's aunt never left Port Arthur (an hour east of Houston), and only recently got married in her 40's. I like her and her husband a lot, and admire how much she's taken care of her parents, but I could never do that. Now, W is helping fill that role with both her Dad, and her maternal grandparents. Is this really what she wants? A child role, like River said?

She started crying, told me it's cold and the bed's hard, and she's not feeling well. I talked her to sleep.

I have to be careful here, because there will be pullback. This could be just a temporary loneliness she's feeling at the holidays, not a reconsidering. But it feels so good, and helps me remember why I'm still trying so hard. At least for a little while, the Alien is gone.

[MichelleLT]

Maybe not what she wants, but what she feels obligated to do? Or maybe what she feels like she is good at?

So nice about the increased contact, the phone calls, and her calling you when she needed someone to talk to.

Enjoy it.

(Glad you are expecting the pullback, best to be prepared for the worst)

[jon2911]

Hit a wall today. Had strange dreams and woke up with sad and negative thoughts.

I wish I could press a button and help you get to the point where you just don't care.

I've been thinking about this from K4D's thread.

This moment was when my W came to tell me she was filing again. Fear and pain have been so paralyzing for me, and I've been stuck for most of 2009. I feel so bad for W and the pain she's in, but she won't let me help.

Negotiating with my last two credit cards was a big step last week. My perfect payment history helped (so why did you kick my interest rate to 30%, bastards?) Enjoying listening to Dave Ramsey. Time to set more goals and keep moving.

Good time with friends watching the Cowboys win last night, good time working with my sister on her wedding music today, and I'm going to Trans-Siberian Orchestra tonight. Disc golf in the morning.

[jon2911]

The concert was fantastic, and I won my fantasy football league by half a point. That's $100 coming my way! Made a little too much noise about that during the concert.

The bright spots are nice, I'm enjoying them. Back to the grind tomorrow, looks like none of my producers took Christmas vacation, so I've got a ton of catchup work to do tomorrow. The joys of a start-up.

[MichelleLT]

I love TSO!!!! Didn't get to see their show this year, but my dad got me the Night Castle CDs for Christmas!

Good job on negotiating with the credit cards.

Be patient with yourself and your situation.

[jon2911]

I like your taste Michelle!

Called W tonight, she was just getting home from her grandparents. She told me about some new shoes she got, and about her new pet turtle. She was much more withdrawn than the last couple times we talked, but I expected that.

I asked her if she had plans for New Years, and she said she'll be doing family stuff. Wow, that sounds fun! LOL. I said OK, have a good night.

I have some fun plans New Years eve and New Years Day but wanted to give it a shot. No biggie.

[jon2911]

So, had a great New Years Eve party, then disc golf tournament today. I was catching up on some DB threads and W calls.

I said "Happy New Year" and we had a nice talk, told her what I'd been up to, found out she stayed at home last night. But she had half a bottle of rum so it was OK. LOL. She asked if I'll be around tomorrow afternoon, and would like to hang out with her. Then that changed to "I'm staying at a hotel, and you can come. My plans go from 6 AM to noon, so you'll need to leave early in the morning, is that OK?" Yes!

Then two texts: "can you pick up some rum?" and later "Will you tuck me in and then head home to sleep? That way I won't show you my nocturnal craziness"

W had crazy nightmares because of her headaches. I called and told her that her nocturnal stuff doesn't bother me, I'm used to it, but if it makes her more comfortable I can leave. I even said "no pressure". Oops, probably should have just thought that.

I'm fighting some thoughts of wondering what she's in town for, because last time it was about the D. Maybe she's coming to give me the papers? I don't really care. I'm feeling confident and I think it's coming across that way. It's like the thrill of dating again.

She'll be here in an hour, any prayers are appreciated.

[MHL]

Good Luck, hope it all works out for you.