- We usually don't appreciate what we have. - We usually don't appreciate what we have until it's gone - We want what we don't have - We want what we don't have especially if someone else has what we don't have - We rebel against that which tries to control us - We attribute value to things in high demand (if everyone could step outside their home and grab a handful of perfect, flawless diamonds in our flowerbeds they probably wouldn't be worth alot of money
When your husband had you, he didn't appreciate what he had.
So very true. Sometimes when I think I might want him back, I wonder if it's just because he is gone. It's so confusing. The thing is, IF I want him back, having him think I have a man isn't helping my case.
Originally Posted By: robx
If he thinks that someone else is interested in you, think about what this does in his head: I had her, didn't want her, let her go, now someone else wants her, someone else might have her now, did I make a mistake, did I let go of something valuable, is she something valuable, maybe I want what I had back....
Hence the interest, hence the crappy attitude, the questions, the curiousity.
Don't tell him anything, don't satisfy his curiousity, continue doing what you're doing, watch him ask more questions, watch him become more interested ;-)
This might be true for a "regular" guy, but my H does not have the jealousy or insecurity wiring. I doubt that his interest is in what I am doing. It's the kids. He doesn't want me exposing them to someone I have only known "two months" and spoken to maybe "100 hours, but that could be an over estimation", "unless it was going on before we were separated". All quotes are his words.
None of this indicates anything except concern for the kids, and I don't like the implication that I would jeopardize their safety. He should know better.
This morning, he sent me a text telling me that I can't move more than 3 hours away. Um, random.
If your advice is to not tell him anything, should I at least tell him the kids are safe??
One would have to think that by now he would know that you are going to keep the kids safe. Again, if he thinks differently, anything you say isn't going to make any difference!
What you are doing (in his imagination) has him bothered a bit. At this point, I think that's a good thing. He's losing a little bit of control of the picture he has in his head. I like it!
That said, if he actually gets around to asking you a direct question, you can tell him the truth! But I don't think he will, he thinks he knows all the answers without asking you.
This might be true for a "regular" guy, but my H does not have the jealousy or insecurity wiring. I doubt that his interest is in what I am doing.
I disagree. When reading your descriptions about him asking questions about you and dating other people and saying your body is showing signs of "having a man" (love it, by the way, so funny!), I imagine him as very jealous underneath this exterior of acting "curious."
This might be true for a "regular" guy, but my H does not have the jealousy or insecurity wiring. I doubt that his interest is in what I am doing.
Yeah Right. And you have convinced yourself of this why?
Critical rationalism
Critical rationalists hold that scientific theories, and any other claims to knowledge, can and should be rationally criticized, and (if they have empirical content) can and should be subjected to tests which may falsify them. Thus claims to knowledge may be contrastively, normatively evaluated.
One would have to think that by now he would know that you are going to keep the kids safe. Again, if he thinks differently, anything you say isn't going to make any difference!
Exactamundo! This is part of why I am cheesed off. I am a good mother. I have never put them at risk, and I wouldn't start doing it now. He knows better. He is being an ass implying otherwise.
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
What you are doing (in his imagination) has him bothered a bit. At this point, I think that's a good thing. He's losing a little bit of control of the picture he has in his head. I like it!
What am I doing so I can do more of it?! lol This all started when S5 asked if he was still here?" I replied, yes. H (we were on the phone), said tell him I'll see him in a few days. I said to H, he wasn't talking about you. H made the leap in logic that I had a man over. I did, but it was my brother that S5 was talking about.
A few days later, I asked H if he minded if I took the kids out of town. He usually doesn't, and he said yes. Later, he told me he wasn't comfortable with me taking the kids to some other guys house. At this point, it still hasn't dawned on me that he thinks I have a man.
Days later, when he starts sending the relentless emails, I realize he thinks I am taking the kids around some other guy. He points out how I said he couldn't have random people around the kids. I said it, because I didn't want my girls spending the night around random drunk men he was hanging out with. So I respond, "as long as you keep the girls safe, you can do whatever you want". Which is honestly how I feel. I was being petty before, and I know he wouldn't jeopardize them. So he says, I am now changing the rules and I can't do that.
That said, if he actually gets around to asking you a direct question, you can tell him the truth! But I don't think he will, he thinks he knows all the answers without asking you.
Yes, he thinks he knows everything. He has a life philosophy...people are idiots.
This might be true for a "regular" guy, but my H does not have the jealousy or insecurity wiring. I doubt that his interest is in what I am doing.
I disagree. When reading your descriptions about him asking questions about you and dating other people and saying your body is showing signs of "having a man" (love it, by the way, so funny!), I imagine him as very jealous underneath this exterior of acting "curious."
Trust me. He is thinking about it.
He's a body language kind of guy. Every time I moved my body in the slightest bit, he commented on it. I looked down to the left, and he told me what that meant. lol
I couldn't look him in the eye because I would have died laughing.
He even asked is his name John? Paul?, etc. to see if I would react. I know I was reacting guiltily because it was insanity.
The only thing I did confirm was the name of the base, because he had clearly researched bases in the area and asked me directly.
