If you are not moving out then why did you not just tell your W that you had decided not to move out but she is welcome to if she feels that is what she needs to do?
Let her know you spoke with an attny but don't let her know what the attny said. Never share legal info with the WAS.
Are you asking how to detach or are you asking why you need to?
If she wants a divorce let her find the money to hire an attny and get that ball rolling. Until then you will not have further disruption to your life and all your energies should be focused on you and your children.
