Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

Coming here from Infidelity/Affairs. I have had IMO some positive baby steps with my W but fear that I am headed into limbo land or that we can be "friends" while she moves on with her life. I keep reading and re-reading success stories and it seems that the keeping contact going with the WAW is best instead of going dark, NC, etc. Doesn't really work with kids anyhow so I kinda gave up on it. I have a DB coaching session in 2 hours so I will ask coach what to do next but would love to hear from anyone here, and yes I will take the 2 X 4's.

Christmas was good IMO. My kids get up early (6-6:30am) every year. My W came over at 5:30, so she would be here when the kids got up. She laid down on the couch to go back to sleep, I came downstairs and asked her to come lay down in bed with me. I couldn't believe it when she got up and came upstairs, of course she laid down on top of the covers, fully clothed and with her head at the opposite end of the bed. This was a big positive IMHO, 3 weeks earlier we weren't even talking! We laid there and talked about nothing really but it was nice for 20 to 30 minutes before the kids got up.

The rest of the morning went great, D13 started talking to my W for the first time in 2 months (another Christmas miracle), It was "normal" for about 5 hours that morning as a family. A couple of other positive things happened but the thing that I cherrished the most was the unsolicited hug from her as she was leaving, not short but not too long either.
I knew there would be some blowbacks in the days that followed but nothing I did not expect. She declined an offer to come over last night to have a Christmas style dinner, said she did not want to give the kids false hope. I think she had a date but that is in my head and I am working on not dreaming up what she may or may not be doing. It just astounds me that she does not call to talk to my S9. She hasn't spoken to him since Christmas day. D13 is falling back into "i hate her again" with regards to her mother.

My W did say she would come to our best friend's house tonight or tomorrow for a get together b/c some other old friends are intown and everyone wants to see this couple. It will be about 4 or 5 couples and everyone is fully aware of our sitch and they all are telling me to forget her and move on. If she comes over tonight it will be the first time she has seen our friends in 5 months. I am hoping that it will remind her of all the fun times we used to have with all of our friends in the neighborhood. Maybe she will want that back or will relize that going out to bars and the whole dating scene isn't all "that".

I am trying to GAL, and reading books like crazy, which reminds me of one other thing that happened 2 days before Christmas. We had a R talk on the phone that lasted for 30 minutes, no arguing but mostly me talking about Love Languages and that I relized I was not speaking her Languages for years and she wasn't speaking mine. She admitted that her IC had recomended that she read the book. Does that mean that her counselor is advising her to work on the M or that there is hope??? (would love to be a fly on the wall n her sessions) I did not ask her but when I saw her that day to get the gifts she had wrapped for the kids, I gave her the book. She is a terrible reader and probably will not read it but I hope the opportunity comes up again to ask her about it.

I welcome any input from some of you wise DRers out there.