feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

Couldn't wait to update - hope I can remember all I needed to tell you guys.

Christmas Eve - he left work at 11:30 - I thought we were gonna have a good day and he was just a jerk - ugh.

Christmas morning I had a hard time wanting to be near him or open anything he got me - he was a little nicer. He got me this really cute card that said something like I wished on a star and found you - yeah right (sarcastic luv) We went to my moms - he was a little distant but not like the day before.

Saturday morning we went to see "It's Complicated" he wanted to see something else but he went anyway. While we were getting ready he had mentioned to me about this new theatre that has lounge chairs and serves drinks/dinner while you watch a movie. We looked online and booked seats for that evening to see "did you hear about the morgans."

We went to lunch then came home. He goes to the back room to see my sons and he is on the laptop. He calls for me to stand next to him and he's petting my back. He goes to kiss me (my S15 says eew you guys are grossing me out LOL) so we pretend to get all up on each other and we laugh. I go to my room and couple mins later he follows. H shuts n locks the door behind him and I'm like what are you doing? He wants so I oblige

We left early so we could have a drink before. Omg you guys this place was awesome. It was like going to a vip nightclub but it was a theatre. The lighting...the girls waiting for you as you enter...sitting and getting a drink with lit candles..seriously..too nice.

We sat and talked - he loved the place. We got to lounge in these comfy chairs with table service..too cool. While we watched the movie he held my hand (hasn't reached out to me at all) ...afterwards we went to a sushi bar and had a beer - nice place. We were at an area where there are shops/bars/stores...really nice. We had never been.

Anyway...when we left the theatre he held my hand - we walked around went to a sushi bar then to another bar to have a beer. This is where he started R talk! He said, "ya know that movie today scared the hell out of me." LOL (it's complicated) He said, "I don't wanna be like that..I know that will happen to me." He continues talking about this one part (where the kids are on the bed) all crying cuz their parents are split - he said, "that broke my heart and I don't want my kids to go through that." OH I forgot!...he mentioned sex was not one of his LL's LOL - had to come back and edit for that one

You know inside I'm like wow - who woulda thought it would have that kind of impact. I knew it'd get him thinking - but not that seriously. He keeps on talking and we talk about the R. I asked him, "have you thought about leaving?" He said, "no." He starts to tear up and I assure him I am here for you. We talked alot of serious stuff - laughed a little.

We left - he held my hand the entire time. I drove he rubbed my back while I was driving (all the while I'm wondering where the alien went) he left my H behind! We got home and went to sleep. A much needed day/night.

Sunday morning he initiates (I was listening G) - then we went to breakfast (mexican yum) Last year was the first time we started leaving the kids. It's been years that we have experienced getting up and leaving without a sitter - too weird for us but it's been nice.

So...Sunday he is VERY affectionate...all day. I'm perplexed yet welcome it. I am affectionate back. He wants me to be next to him (he is painting these little guys with my son (almost 19) but he wants me to sit next to him...so I do (bored but I do) lol

We go to bed - no goodnight or anything so weird after all of that...but not complaining.

I tried to give you guys the shortest story possible. I need you guys' imput!...I know I can't believe anything he says and half of what he does but seriously...I'm really CONFUSED.

What the heck?