Reading through other threads on here, I'm realizing how typical my situation really is. I think I need to broaden my perspective a bit. I'm anguished week to week by this crap, and then I read on here about people in the same situation as me, and worse, who have been DBing for a year or more.
There really is a continuum of people here, ranging from the infinitely patient to the impatient. Unfortunately, you don't find out where you fall on the continuum until you are on the other side of the situation. There is no perfect way to do this, nor is there any guaranteed outcome. I guess the point is to come out of the situation a stronger and more grounded person than when you went in, no matter what the outcome.
Originally Posted By: Norseman05
It makes me wonder if filing is a proper step. I think my W is relaxed and not moving her feet on anything because she has better perspective (even if in an insane way). She is in no hurry, she has a dbag to enchant her and a H who is pretty darn good, and a good father. And I'm scurrying, moment to moment it seems, thinking about every detail involved, crunching numbers and scenarios, anticipating moves, etc. Its so exhausting.
I feel like Jack N's character in "As Good As It Gets," where he is in the restaurant and puts his head in his hands, mumbling, "this is exhausting being like this!"
That's because you're still defining success in this situation based on what she does. Once you let go of the outcome of your marriage and concentrate on what is right for Norse and the mini-Norses, it will become clearer. I've seen you write a couple of times "I do not want a divorce." I have not seen you describe what you do want. What does it look like? How does the person you married fit into that? What would she (or you) need to do to achieve that goal. Once you answer that question, you can get to work on your end. If she comes around, great. If she doesn't, she probably didn't fit in the first place.
