Sandi2, Thanks for the very long post. I found and read H MacDonald ebook. I found it quite interesting, and it uses the some of the same techniques that you talk about in the post. I have started to use these techniques. Sorry for just getting back on the boards here, but I had promised my wife and son that I would travel cross the country to my in-laws for Xmas. I had mixed emotions about doing this based on the rapidly developing situation, but it went very well. My wife and her parents treated me with respect, and my son love having me there. We we returned home her mood changed and started in on me, telling me that the only reason I went was that I was trying to make her look bad to our son when see tells him that we are separating. (which she has yet to do) She is planning on taking an apartment in the next town over. The arrangement will be as follows for my son's sake. We both travel for 2 days at a time with one overnight in another city. We do this opposite days so that someone will be home for our son. When I am gone she will move back into the house. When I am home she will move to the apartment. I want to give you some background on the close circle of women that she works, and associates with. Remember she spends a lot of time on the road with these women. Two of the woman's husbands sleep in separate bedrooms. They stay together for the kids and can't afford to get divorce, or sell the house due to economic conditions. One of her close friends just recently separated from her husband. One is just recently divorced. And 2 are married. I have made the mistakes in the past to talk about this with her, with statements like "not for nothing but don't we always tell our son you are who you hang out with". I now realize that I can't do this. This pushes her away further. I have backed off of her friends. As for respect. She has told me recently that she has lost a lot of respect for me. I do not think there is another Man involved sexually. I do question EA's. I have a few questions for the separation. I want to set some ground rules. Do we date other people during this time. (it has already been brought up. She is good with either one, or the other.) I prefer no. She wants to have dinner together with our son on common nights that we are home. What do you recommend? She has told me that if she could find a way to become sexually attracted to me again that she would give me a second chance. She old me that for the past year she was going through the motion as far as sex was concerned. She was doing it to try to keep me happy, that she was not really ever interested. I find this very strange because when we did have sex it is very good for both. The sex has now stopped. This is were she is struggling the most. We are both good looking, and very in-shape people. She is going to give this until the middle of March. The day my son finds out if he gets into boarding school. My feeling if he does, it will be over. I will keep you posted as the events unfold. Thanks again. You are awesome!
