Dinner w/son and Grandson tonight. Grandson, who I haven't seen in a few weeks had shown some not-completely-diagnosed symptoms of Asberger's syndrome since about 18 months (no eye contact, very slow speech development, incessantly repetitive actions and behaviors, etc.). Now, at 4 yrs old, after some special needs/special ed he's doing much better. Tonight, he was a completely different, jabbering, complete sentences, eye-contact, connecting, laughing,healthy, full of p!ss and vinegar 4 year-old. Praise God.
Still kind of bummed that StepD, StepD's partner and the lovely 2 month old Granddaughter spent the last 4 days at wife's apartment witout a call or a "want to meet somewhere and see the baby?"
Oh well. Won't take it personally. They are in pain too, finding their own new norm (and God knows - or cares - what thy're being told about me.)
StepSon (who told me last December that as far as he's concerned I'm his real father), seems to be thawing. StepD will too, in her own good time. But I admit it hurts. deeply.
Good news: today while at this computer, I see a young couple drive by the house slowly - twice. Then they came up the steps and ring the bell. They both LOVE the house. He's an architect. Loves the old stone/hardwood floors, plaster walls, radiators old fashioned craftsmanship. Gave them a limited tour, except the rooms that I let go to hell with my crazy hours this week (figuring Christmas week wouldn't be a big house-showing week). They took brokers' info, walked around yard and said they are definitely interested. Didn't flinch at price (real good sign). Got my fingers crossed!
Once I get Mediation and January 27th D AND the sale of this beloved old house over with, Limbo wil be completely GONE.
I will probably start a new thread for the new year. I've done it all by the book and correctly for 35 years with two wives and four children. But while reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" I realize my sense of responsibility and giving my all for them went beyond unselfish to selfless. And in the end I became just that: Self-Less and lost much of me. 2010 will be the year of Gardener. I need to heal, recuperate, grow and regain my self. All who I cared for and guided these many years are functional (well, maybe not Mrs. G.), independent and pursuing their passions.
My turn.
Love to all.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
