h is in mlc, now threatening divorce...

[lost1234]

oh Gno!

So, i was almost ready to go OUT and watch the football game. hadnt received a phone call so i should have been safe...nope h and girls come through the door...


will leave the bs out...i will say my h opened up quite a bit as we talked ...

the things he told me and i will share when i have some more time...we talked about some of the things that got us where we are today.

i am breathing and feeling better. it was good to get some of it out, good to actually have reasons from him. most were justified. on both sides...

this is gonna sound mean and i DO NOT mean it that way...I have only seen my husband cry 3 times in 12 yrs...

when each baby girl was born and when we thought we were losing his father.

im not sure why i am feeling better it was very sad...seeing the 2 of us like this...

i know this is breaking the rules but i really felt it needed to be said so we could both hear and comment accordingly. even tho not much at all was said...

i told him i understand why he needs time to work on himself, I also need to do some more work on myself

i let him know that as much as i would like him to be home with us, that we both need to be sure we are ready

that neither one of us had a great up bringing and that our daughters deserve better from us

that no matter how much effort, work, sweat and tears need to go into it that our family deserves a chance

he didnt say much...commended me on what a great mother I am and also said i always put others first, that i dont need to do that ALL of the time

also commended me on quitting drinking, which i thought was far from his mind, it has been a loooong time...

im not certain any of this is good...or bad feels ok...

i told him that i would like us both to take some time, work on our issues seperately, then together. that I dont want to close our marital door...

instead of screaming, he said nothing. which the way i think i know him is ok,

i want to go full speed ahead back into ic, back into DR so that i start doing what i need to do...

he has ALWAYS been a follower, i hope if i can set the example and show the effort he'll be behind me...

thoughts??

maybe Xmas eve needed and did happen for a reason...