She also said last night that she thinks we need to start talking more if we are ever really going to get things back. That we have to talk more about what we are thinking/feeling and what is bothering us or making us angry.
I tend to be suspicious of people who have been caught in their EA and then start saying what all needs to be done "if" they are going to get things back. It takes such a short time for the chemical induced brain to get fogged up and even if she had good intentions, she'll start craving to have her drug fix.
Sandi ~ the first time your wrote this (re:going deeper undercover), it really threw me, b/c I saw the same post from Gutw'ing as "she's coming around". Not that I can't be wrong and I don't have first hand acquaintance with this part of a breakup...but really? Does it have to be that she's going deeper undercover? I guess with Trust in the toilet, though, Gutw'ing should at least have that on the radar, so I get that. Just chiming in that I didn't read it that way.
Quote:
The main thing that sticks out in my mind is that she didn't show remorse. That is why I think she may try to go deeper with her EA and cover it up more. She underestimated you the first time around, so the next time....she'll make sure you don't uncover anything.
Coach and I have three children. Over the years, we've caught them in a few tangles with the Truth. We've observed three distinct reactions to being busted. The eldest was "Yup, I did it. Sorry I got caught" right out of the shoot. Only now YEARS later are we hearing how he wishes he had not let us down. Middle child - instant regret and lifelong carriage of that regret. Youngest - piles on lies to try to get out of being busted, through tears and I love yous (she's 12 so we're not sure how this will shake out over time). My point is ~ everyone has a rate at which the full measure of what's been done and culpability sets in. I don't think it is a foregone conclusion that b/c Gutw'ing's W is not remorseful NOW, it's not coming down the road. MHO.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
