Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

No, sent him an e-mail on facebook for not everyone to see.
Its all done now.
Back to where we were. Little to no trust either way (as she finally figured out what I had found on her computer and how), her promising no more contact with OM, no true remorse yet (regret yes, admission she did wrong yes, but not remorse yet), her saying I'm still here--haven't left yet--but not sure she can really try because she is tired. Tired of trying for years and afraid of getting hurt again and not believing I can make her happy without help from her and she doesn't have the energy to try to help...bunch of classic WAW symptoms.

Biggest issue is still her getting over OM in my opinion, though she wants me to believe she is over him and I think she wants herself to believe it. She has said a couple of times she is prepared to be alone, she doesn't need im, doesn't need me...I just affirmed that, said I believe that is true and understand why she feels that way.

The biggest thing I can see is she isn't consumed with thinking about him. I can tell from her involvement with the children, we are back to having 2 parents in the house and I can usually tell when she is thinking about him because she loses that focus. It has been somewhat rare the last few days.

No more talk or even hinting at moving out - that was the anger of telling her no more FB with him

Monitoring her is going to be more difficult now, as she figured out the computer tricks, so I'll have to watch for the other signs.

Question: on the phone bill which right now only I have access too...do I offer to open up the access to that? The account is actually in her name, but I have the id and password for the account. So with a phone call, she could get that changed and lock me out...so do I show some good faith and offer to keep the phone records open/shared?