I'm sorry you have to be going through this especially during the holidays. As others have said, your H is projecting his anger onto you. I would definitely put some boundaries in place about coming by the house and at least calling beforehand when he wants to spend time with his D's (not just assuming they'll be spending time with him). Try to make the most of your time with D's. They'll really appreciate that.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz