H just emailed again. He asked again about the business issue. Said that not knowing was stressful. (It's something I took care of. Nothing more needs to be done.)
Then he told me that he leaves tomorrow to visit his friend in another country. He had given me the impression he was going there a couple weeks ago.
A couple weeks ago, I had told him I wasn't yet sure if I would be in town for Christmas. Today he wrote:
"if you are not going to be in the Maple Street house, please let me know when you will not be there (the dates)and if someone else is there house sitting."
Oh, then he wished me a Merry Christmas. Note he referred to 'the Maple Street house' not 'if you aren't going to be home'.
Not sure how to respond to this. Again he wants to know what I'm doing, but does not say what he plans to do. Is he hoping he can come back while I'm out of town and change the locks?
I'm not sure how to respond to H's email. I would probably just reply with the business answers: yes, it's done and I'll be away from X to X.
Have you checked with a L to see if he can put you out of the house? I know it's in his name but isn't it considered the marital home? Just to be on the safe side I'd probably have a settlement drawn up or at least the part about him paying for your rent if he wants you out of the house.
Ack, I'm sorry he's being such a pill for the holidays.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I'm not sure how to respond to H's email. I would probably just reply with the business answers: yes, it's done and I'll be away from X to X.
Have you checked with a L to see if he can put you out of the house? I know it's in his name but isn't it considered the marital home? Just to be on the safe side I'd probably have a settlement drawn up or at least the part about him paying for your rent if he wants you out of the house.
Ack, I'm sorry he's being such a pill for the holidays.
He can't put me out of the marital home without a court order. He may not know that however. If he raises the issue about me moving out, (before he finds out that I'm already doing that), we can negotiate something.
I dislike having to deal with this over the holidays, but it was my choice to do it this way. I could have told him I was leaving months ago. All in all, I think this was the better choice for me.
I'm not telling him anything yet. When, (or if) I do, I'll tell him I will be here for the holidays, possibly expecting guests at the house. I'm not going to let him think he has an opening to skulk back in while I'm gone to avoid facing me.
H called today while I was out. He hasn't called in more than four months. He left me a message wishing me a Merry Christmas.
I still haven't told him anything about my holiday plans. He must be planning to come back soon and testing the waters, trying to make nice, and/or get info. I sooo don't want to talk to him.
Don't talk to him if you don't want to, why interrupt your good holidays?
Hope you had some fun before packing.
If I decide to talk with him, Christmas Day is definitely not the time. He is holiday buzz-kill.
I did have a lovely Christmas eve with friends and talked on the phone with family in between packing sessions on Christmas. I probably did more talking than packing though.
Originally Posted By: Bridgestone
Any chance he knows through mutual friends you've moved out?
I think it is highly unlikely that he has been tipped off. I have told only 2 friends who are part of our mutual friend pool. I was explicit about the need for secrecy and both understand that these situations can be very volatile. Both also know 'how he is' and are appalled at what he did.
It's getting interesting now. Because his previous email had asked for specific dates I might be gone during the holidays, I figured he might be thinking about returning during that time frame and I do NOT want that.
I wrote him a very nice email yesterday thanking him for the Christmas wishes. I told him I had a good Christmas (no specifics) and hoped he did too.
I pointed out that he had asked for specifics about my plans but had not shared his and asked him what his plans are. I told him my brother would be visiting me sometime between now and Jan 3. I threw in a weather report and a dog report and signed off wishing him the joy and peace of the season.
He sent a very irritable sounding, totally illogical reply in which he insisted that he had told me about his "plans" and then proceeded to explain how and why the "plans" (he put plans in quotes throughout) he had told me about had changed. (Which is what he hadn't told me.) Then he went on a long riff about how they call it "a plan" because it might change. He didn't say glad you had a nice Christmas, enjoy your visit with your brother. He signed off with a cold "best regards".
I believe I accomplished my objective of keeping him away during the holidays. Something sure hit a nerve in him though. I'm not bothered by it. I just find it amusing in a weird way.
Then he went on a long riff about how they call it "a plan" because it might change. He didn't say glad you had a nice Christmas, enjoy your visit with your brother. He signed off with a cold "best regards".