This is great progress I think, but notice how her first reaction was to lie about what she was doing? Remember this - we want to trust them so much but remember that she lied to you with a straight face and will do it again to protect any other secrets she may have. I may be jaded based upon my own sitch, but I remember wanting to trust my W which prevented me from doing what I needed to do at times.

That said, she seems genuinely interested in exploring why she is feeling the way she is and wondering if there is a way to change it. Then again, the 'shock' of getting caught and possibly having to move out might have pushed her here temporarily so keep an eye out as the dust settles. Her emotions can turn on a dime in this situation. Next she may get 'angry' that you were snooping, etc.

Does she confide a lot in certain friends that might support her potential desire to be single and find someone else? Beware of those people - they may get her fired up over what you did and she will lash out.

Can you legally make her move out? I suspect not if you guys own your house togethre. If she figures this out she will realize that you boundary has no teeth, and then exposure could be your next tool in the escalation if she doesn't keep going on the path she started on.

Be wary, but know that you have caught this early it sounds like with a reasonable chance to recover depending upon how she reacts.

Last edited by tryingtilDorR; 12/27/09 03:34 PM.
ME/XW:47
S21, D19, S15, S14
M:21 T:26
W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12
W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline