That was a gut wrenching post. My wife is in a similar situation such as you. She says that things started to go downhill when the kids were born. Now she wants a divorce. Your post has helped me see into her mind and her torment. I've done all I can since my wake up call, but I don't think it is going to be enough. Good luck to you.
Me:49 W: 41 Kids=D14/D14/S10 Married: 15 Together: 16 Bomb: 08/26/09 Currently: separated but in the different houses.