Praying for Light at the end of the Tunnel

[kjensen]

Thanks for the ideas Grace and TF.

I agree that creating a schedule or at least a call first would be ideal. I think I'm going to need to find the right time to bring it up though. Before the holiday H was actually being kind, sympathetic, giving/receiving hugs-no drama or anger.

I think the holiday brought out the worst in him-the anger. Its not just me, either. H said today his whole family are a-holes...I can understand him feeling that way about his Dad, but his mom and brother at least have reached out to him since he told them about getting a divorce(and to me as well).

I think H is feeling like a hurt, left-out little kid. He's helped create this situation, but wants to blame everyone else for it.

When I got emotional today, after H asked how I was doing, he put his arm around me and gave me a hug-that was the man I love-briefly back for a split-second visit.

I need to do better. I need to just listen and validate and not try to have a voice right now-I think that is where I'm faltering.

I think the boundary setting is next, once things settle down again(as I hope they do).

Thanks for the advice. Sometimes I wonder if I really do deserve all of his anger, if I really failed to be a good wife so badly and was unaware. I don't thik so, but that doubt is what upsets me.