Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

P, I have been through this almost a year if you count false R (see sig line). The rollercoaster ride has twists and turns, ups and downs, and plenty of smoother, albeit bumpy, stretches of track.I don't know what comes next--but I can't see the end!!

I do feel proud that I've stayed pretty consistent with my actions but I know I will screw up the distancing part. I don't know how to do it while seeing him 6 days per week. I want to rock the fence but am afraid to flip it over all the way onto OW's side.

By the time I started this thread, I had been through almost all of the hardest stuff. Now in the last 6-7 weeks, I've managed to get through visits to OW which was really hard and Christmas...but I wish I could skip New Year's. I do plan on NOT watching the ball drop and going to bed by 10 or 10:30. Oh, I do want a pina colada though.

So, just want to get through New Year's and on Jan 2, my 2010 can start.