Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

The combo of Xmas and his cutting me off financially and him hurting my pride got to me. I just HAD TO tell him I think he's an arrogant narcissistic @ss and adulterer. It was dying to come out!!! I just had it with his nastiness and walking all over me. In a way it was a 180... I've been taking and taking and taking his cr@p and being nice about it. I stink at having patience. So far I don't feel he got power back by my responding. I'm not feeling like trying to pursue, trying to be attractive, or trying to lure him back. I'm tired of him being awful towards me. I have my kids, friends and family filling my love bank instead.

There will be no remorse from him until he realises what he has done. In order for that to happen the A needs to end and he needs to hit an emotional rock bottom. Until that happens, and it may never happen, you won't see anything from him but venom, spite, guilt and hurt.

I'm starting to think it may never happen. WAH is toooooo prideful to recognize he made a mistake and apologize for it. Too much pride to show he'd hit emotional rock bottom.

Here's a new 180 I'm doing... I'm worshipping at a new church of a different faith. Somehow WAH picked up on it for Xmas eve and was curious about it asking the kids where we went. WAH doesn't practice any religion or pray. Strange he noticed this. This big change for me and I'm doing it for myself and my kids since it has always been my concern anyway.

Another thing... WAH gave D a Tiffany necklace. Early this year I had told him I wanted one. D said WAH was very surprised she knew what it was. I think it's really odd for him to give it to her... feels like he did it to hurt me. Why would he give her a costly necklace if he didn't think she'd know about it? Dumb.