My WAW caught at an early stage (I hope)

[tryingtilDorR]

The thing that alarmed me the most was:

But, she says that she meets other men through her school, and she will be tempted to have an affair, since her emotional needs are not being met through our marriage.

I believe she has been experimenting with an EA - she probably doesn't know yet that she is 'hooked' on someone else but the strong idea of someone else she already knows is pulling at her (if I had to guess). If it is just the 'idea' of someone else that would explain her activities on the dating sites as well - she is trying to confirm what she is feeling about needing an OM.

I am not trying to scare you unneccessarily, but she is so incredibly vulnerable given the situation you describe (sounds just like me and my W 2 years ago when my W was 42 incidentally). The good news here is that she is telling you all this, hopefully before it is too late.

Move quickly. Assume she already is having an EA (emotional affair).

I found this site about 6-8 months after my wife got involved in an EA, and about 3 months after I knew about it for sure, and I would have loved to have found it earlier, but I was too consumed (withdrawn to use your word) to be concerned about my M - it was the last thing I thought I could have taken away from me but like so many others here I learned the lesson the hard way (and am still learning).

Stand up and tell her what is NOT acceptable to you, and assume she is already having an EA (even if she really isn't - assume she is) and that you need to stop it.