catching up on these threads and being in the giving spirit of xmas, i will give you a little evidence to this talk.
when i 'let go' of my marriage, i made 'friends' with a really cute funny charming married gal my own age. we got along so well she would joke we are twins. Well, I'm not stupid and I knew that only meant when you gonna screw me 'twin'.
but the whole point I am trying to get across, and how it relates to you, is this chicks behavior, she was spent on her marriage, husband was distant, worked out of town, came home to play golf and was basically a jerk. In retrospect, I see now she was using me to hit his jealousy button and 'won' (and good for her) and if she didnt she knew she woud not have been disappointed.
she threw up all the "red flags" you are seeing sir, going out at night to visit her mom, LOL, texting, phone calls, constantly finding a reason to be in the same place I was, totally gave up trying to fix her marriage. There was someone "fun" who wasnt into pressure, or paying the bills, or dealing with what wasnt working. Someone one that just wanted to have fun. and talk.
Her husband was totally oblivious at first, even though she was obvious and careless. I think she was trying to say hey dude, open your eyes and care about me. But he didnt and everytime he did something she didnt want him to do, she would be pressuring me to do things in his absence. When he did catch on, he weakly put his foot down and she walked all over him on her way to me. And then became secretive about her 'playtime'.
By that time the "gucci method" if you want to call it that had spun my wife's head around. Remember, when you let go and it appears you have someone else, "kitty cats will complete." LMAO. but true. My whole situation is another story for another day, but the fact that he did not come right down and show his concern and utmost attention to the situation only made her more intent on being a "brat." And she was "bratty," personally, I would not have taken that crap from my wife.
He finally had to come around to the correct way of thinking and in the end had to give up some serious considerations in order to save his marriage. He got lucky that I find the concepts of divorce busting interesting ... it could have been someone else.
But the point you need to consider is as long as you take a blind eye, or turn away from the obvious the longer she is going to play. IT IS FUN FOR HER. Motorcycles are a big turn on. They vibrate the right spots. This guy is paying attention to her and flirting with her and making her feel good about herself. That is another turn on and that becomes addictive.
And what are you doing? holding on thinking maybe a year down the road she will realize how important "the history" is. Rarely happens man. People hate history. History is boring. Getting off is fun.
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
Do what WORKS guys. Do what works.
I dont need to repeat what was already said to better than I can. But I do want you to realize that as long as your wife is in an affair you cannot work on your marriage.
