Praying for Light at the end of the Tunnel

[kjensen]

Thanks Grace,
Not-so-good right now. I was starting the new thread when H showed up unexpectedly(he never calls ahead).

H saw a framed poster of his out on the table(I was ordering new glass for it to surprise him) and immediately thought it was out so he could take it-like I was gathering his things for him-very touchy area for him. I explained why it was out.

He wanted to see if the girls would see a movie with him(both declined). Then he explained he was upset(felt belittled) that I didn't respond to his email where he was angry at me (using capital letters...)for thinking he had ulterior motives about our divorce. He got angry over more things...

I didn't DB very well, except that I didn't defend myself too much. Wasn't very good at active listening. Cried twice. Explained I didn't want a divorce..he said he couldn't go on living with these type of arguments...He said he was NOT going to be an angry ex-husband-he was avoiding that(this is where I cried the second time b/c that is exactly who he is right now).

He was mad I was "keeping house" and putting pictures up on the walls(that never got done since we moved here), that I put a glass shelf up in the bathroom, that I was looking at paint colors(he had wanted to warm up the family room with paint).

He got really offended when I said this was OUR house, but MY home an maybe he should let me know when he was coming over so I could be scarce..Didn't think he should have to call before seeing his kids.. He's mad that I didn't move out b/c he liked this place better than I did...

Mad about pretty much anything and everything I could say or do.

He left. He just texted me to thank me for getting the glass for his poster-that he appreciated it.

I'm an emotional wreck and he doesn't even live here anymore.

I don't see how he's ever going to get past the anger. We really didn't fight much before the MLC, but now he finds anything and everything to get mad about(or has he spins it-hurt about). I'm trying not to engage and go dim(obviously didn't with the texting yesterday)..I need to be a black out!