A Choice

[patpat]

Thanks CB

I try as do we all. Man, never thought in a million years that I'd be here. Still can't see it.

Thank you for the words of encouragement....

[patpat]

S2 where are you.....?

[patpat]

Sandi

Today, at work, one of the lady that works there asked me if she could write a letter to my wife. I told her it was prob. not a good idea, but she almost insists that she feels she has too.

I asked why? She said because she has had a similiar thing happen in her M. She ran off with OM. 11 months later, she and hubby are back together. She says she wants to tell my W her story hoping it will help her to understand 2nd chance love with spouse.

Should I stoop her, or could this be a good idea.

Note: co-worker and W barely know each other, but W does have respect for this individual.

What should I tell co worker?

[4luv]

Pat,

That is a nice gesture for the woman to want to write the letter BUT i would not let her write it. She might have good intentions but your wife might not see it that way. Matter of fact, if I was your wife, I would assume that you were the one that put this "lady" up to writing a letter to me. I don't know, a letter would put me off and make me think that you were weak as a man to have another woman address me about our issues.

btw, i know that you are not that way just saying if i was in your wife's shoes. I don't want my husband sending another lady to tell me something about our relationship.

[patpat]

Matter of fact, if I was your wife, I would assume that you were the one that put this "lady" up to writing a letter to me.

If you were my wife, I probably would not be in this sitch.... but I agree. I told her it would probably be a bad idea. Especially since W and lady at work barely know each other. Lady at work tells me that she is tired of seeing me the way that I am. Withdrawn, non talkative and lonely. W and I made our rounds at every work related function. Everybody thought we were the perfect couple. I kinda thought so myself.

btw, i know that you are not that way just saying if i was in your wife's shoes.

Thank you, I am not!


Though things appear to be getting better on my end, and with a firm boundary in place, W is taking baby steps. W still seeing OM, but frequency is less.

W was diagnosed with depression. Doc prescribed meds and she seems to be herself a little more week to week. maybe this has something to do with the increase in her calls and texts, and the I love you on the 24th.

I will not read much into it. She still has a busy next couple of weeks with school activities. After the busy settles, I will watch and see what happens....

Thanks for the response, you are dead on!!!

[patpat]

4luv,

I asked my W not to tell me that she loves me anymore...

Was that a mistake?

[patpat]

Today has not been bad so far. Been up for 4 hours. Went for a long drive in the dark. I pray while I drive. It is very soothing.

Stopped by work to pick up some paperwork, get a jump on tomorrow. This afternoon, I will get some of that done.

Got home about 7 ish... Parked truck and took off for a run. Running is part of my gal'ing. Just got in, check the board to say heelo to all.... "Hello All".

Gonna jump in shower and scurry off to church...

I will be back in several hours!

Love everyone here. God Bless!

[givingitmyall]

Good to stay busy. Hang in there.

[patpat]

Thanks GIMA... I will.

[patpat]

Hey All

What to do????

W told me that our house is a source of pain for her, and that is why she does not come in sometimes. I asked her what she expected from me and she said "No Pressure"...

What is she really saying?

I have made the house as comfortable as I know to do.... it is clean and neat. She should love that as I was not someone who regularly did house work.... go figure.

I see it in her face that she knows she made a mistake. We are not really talking but when I attack the A as the beast that it is, she just hangs her head down. She never gets defensive, just lowers her head.

My God, how long is this sh!t gonna last.... I just don't want to have to deal with it anymore.

Sorry, weak moment!

Comments or advice....

And feel free to ask questions that I could answer to help anyone understand my W or myself. I do not type well or think to say everything due to stress or something. I always feel like I am leaving something out. Sorry guys, just need help understanding all this and don't know how to ask for it the right way I guess...