Need Some Qwik Advice

[Greek]

As someone who has putting a M back together for going on a year now, I can tell you that your W's supposition that y'all will just "see what happens" is not going to cut it. She may be assuming with that statement that since everyone is agreeing to stay in the marriage, it will either work or not work...we'll just see what happens...maybe 'it' will work." That's a bit like having a child, feeding, clothing and physically protecting it, without RAISING it...to see what happens. Well, you know what happens and I can tell you that her plan has a major flaw.

RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE ATTENTION TO DETAIL AND CONSTANT CARE TO NURTURE.

Sitting back, as a spectator, to see what happens is a recipe for disaster. I can tell you that Coach and I work every day on our R. We have to attend to each other's LL, we have to actively listen, we have to consult, we have to share, we have to make time for each other...all before LUNCH! Then there is the rest of the day! We had to first KNOW where we screwed up and then take steps not to repeat. And then when we make a mistake, we have to be aware of where the misstep was so as not to take it again.

There is no way - NO WAY - I could have moved home and just b/c I was there and he was there, make it work. Just as an example, I literally read EVERY self-help, relationship book he read while we were separated just so I could get a handle on his growth! My own initiative to do it and b/c I recognized that clawing our way out of the hole we dug as a couple would be work. Add to that the infidelities that y'all have to deal with (we didn't, thanks God) and you have your work cut out for you!

Do not support her fantasy that y'all can take the easy route and "see what happens." Do that and I'll tell you what happens. You'll be back on these boards in 6mos to a year. You're going to have to lead on this. She wants an easy button. Make her put on her BGP and do The Work.

Greek