sorry, I did respond but the computer seems to have eaten my reply. What comes after the withdrawal? First they stew a bit, and then they start the 'touch and go'. They may rant or complain a bit and then see how you react. If you can be serene and listen and they find you 'safe' they may open up more. What often happens though is that they run away again for a while (that is the 'go'part of the whole thing). However, if things went well, they gradually start to trust you again and will share more of their feelings. It is all part of the healing process. I believe that part of them knows how bad they are acting and they fear a reprimand (which often times is warranted) but you have to try to look beyond that and just let them spew.
Don't bring up divorce, I think the MLC thinks it is like a trap door they can fall through to get away from it all. You have to give him space to work on things without having to resort to that.
Me - 38 Husband - 40 MLC! Together 12 years Married 11 years Still the love of my life Forever only lasted 10 years before his MLC and affair
