I know I should have reacted differently in these situations - I guess it's hard when it is actually happening.
Plan was for him to cook the x-mas dinner in his parents house so his mum doesn't have to which is understandable - and then to leave 20 minutes before the preparation is finished to eat with us - in regards to the presents - I am not planning these things with him anynmore - he either wants to be involved or not - this is what separation is about - at least for me - each on their own - I had just hoped he would have a small surprise for them.
I think what makes this so hard is his constant string of explanations / excuses - the family didn't want to let him go without eating dinner, the roads are so bad, I have to go home early - explanations which are not completly unreasonable. I have noticed though he was always like this - it's always someone else or something else which makes him act the way he does - either a person or circumstances if that makes any sense.
I think the feeling I had the last 3 days - he is the one losing out, not me - I wasn't particularly upset or anything - but if he ever makes a ccomment about how much he misses the kids ever again I will say something, believe me.
