So, the two boys have been having too much togetherness, and they're starting to bicker and fight w/each other... you know the tap here, the little smack there, pulling someone's hat off, etc...
Also, can I say, that H is "one of them" and instigates the behavior a lot, thinking it's funny. Telling S10 to do something he knows will irk the bro (but, it's "cute," right?). Telling S12 to do something that will irk the bro (just "gettin' ya back," right?).
MOST of the time, it's all playful and fun.
This am, everyone is getting ready, and H is taking them bowling w/my family. Just before they leave, H yells my name, looking for me. They all three come in the bathroom, where I'm getting ready. The boys have tears in their eyes, but not crying, and H has that pissed off look on his face.
Apparently, they were doing things to each other (funny, the things H tells them to do to irk each other), and S12 gets pissed, pulls S10's hat off (and breaks a tassle - his NEW FAVE hat, btw...), and it gets a bit worse, mostly yelling.
H goes up to see what's going on, gets pissed about them arguing again (really?), and brings them to me (love it). They tell me what's going on, and H is standing behind them seething. He tells one to go to one bathroom, and the other to go to another bathroom, and tells them they're staying there until HE gets back from bowling/lunch, and they will not have any fun. They'll learn to get along.
Now, don't worry, these are beautiful, comfortable bathrooms, so they're not suffering! LoL
So, my only reply to all of this is... "Boys, do me a favor, please keep your body parts off of each other, and each others things, EVEN IF one of US tells you to."
I mean, seriously, H, who NEVER disciplines, has to go completely over the top, when he does, AND THEN, disciplines them for reacting to actions he's taught them to do!
AYEAYEAYE!
I let him rant around the house a bit, and then told him to have a good time. When he left, I checked on both boys, and they looked ready to take a nap on the rugs (not sure they cared they were there! Ha!). In the meantime, H calls back, and says he told them they have ruined the day, will come out when he decides to come home, and after that, until he decides, there will be NO interaction whatsoever between them. They will learn to get along.
Niiiiiiice!
Ya see what I'm dealing w/here?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
But, give me an A for not degrading H in front of the boys, and not blowing up at him for being ridiculous. I just remained neutral. (He didn't even get the part of me telling them not to touch each other, even if one of us tells them to, but they probably did! LoL)
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Great! He goes over the top on the punishment, then leaves you to enforce it! And I know it isn't easy to enforce a punishment you don't believe in. But that both parents are supposed to back each other up. Maybe once the youngsters were sent away you should have questioned the big kid on the appropriateness of the punishment? I don't know.... 10 and 12.... squabbling is part of the job description, but so is learning to get along. I'm just not convinced that H's method of discipline is going to help achieve the goal.
Of course with the brothers, the may sqabble with each other, but I am sure if any "outsider" messes with either of them, they will pull together in an instant. The brother dynamic is fun to watch!
So, I get home from church, and H is here, boys out of the bathrooms (LoL), and H is in bed watching tv. He never did bowl w/my parents.
He always doles out these outlandish punishments, then stops, thinks about it, and then pulls back. DUMB!
"But, we're still not going to the (Pro Soccer Game) tonight. They ruined my morning, so I'm ruining their night." REALLY? That 2 minutes of issue RUINED your morning.
He just left to go help D18 w/her car.
We'll see if he changes his mind.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
