we were just having dessert and the phone rings – WAH tells me him and his sister want to go home (6 p.m.) and if I could pick the boys up early.
Answer: no, we agreed 8pm. Have a nice time with them and see you then.
Second mistake:
Quote:
Yesterday WAH missed X-Mas morning in our house and also X-mas dinner – he arrived after 3 p.m. and stayed for 2.5 hours – didn’t bring any presents
Was this the plan? If not, why was he there?
Third mistake (few people will agree with me):
Quote:
I said I am not going out as my friend drank too much last night lol – so he asks me if it’s ok if he doesn’t come at all today and instead comes by in the morning on his way back to the airport to say goodbye to the boys.
Answer: No, we're going out. You were supposed to see them today. Have a nice trip back.
He is taking the p*ss. The only way to sort out WAS's who like to use the kids as a weapon / pawn / control / tool to mess with the LBS is to strictly control access. He wants the kids, he has them between x and y times. No alterations. No flexibility until he can demonstrate that is a responsible parent and is capable of understanding that the kids are his too and flexibility works both ways.
The number 1 advantage of scheduling is - there is no room for flexibility at the start. Flexibility leads to arguments, anger, grief, hassle and tantrums. Agree a strict schedule and adhere to it unless there is an emergency.
Sorry BS. I've been here before. Schedules are the ONLY way to go IMO.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
