Looking for my new normal

[TrentC]

One other gift that he got me was a digital camera. I thought “how nice” since I didn’t have one- H had always been the family photographer. He gets me alone later and asks if I knew the reason he got me the camera. I suggested (hopefully) on account of the kids. Nope- he wants me to take pics of myself out on dates with other guys in various sexual situations and send them to him.

I would definitely return the camera: tell him "If that is the reason you gave me the camera, then it was wrong for me to accept it."

The wolves are coming out of the woodwork now- I am inundated with offers from men of an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and another part of their anatomy in addition.

You are right to trust your (new) instincts right now. I would stay away from everyone you know from the old lifestyle.

There is more to me as a person than just that, but I have to find it. My reality/perceptions/whatever are skewed right now.

But the important thing is that you realize that you have hurdles to overcome. That is an important first step.