Last night, Christmas night, I was sleeping. W showed up. Still has key to house. Came in, I was unprepared but OK. W brought me X-mas gift. Nice...
Talked for a bit. Small talk, no R talk. Then she told me that she was going out of town for a college event with her group of college friends. I said, this event is 2 days away. he said yea!
I said, "Hotel", she said yea... but even though OM will be there, I have room with other female.
I did not say anything. But can not get thought out of head.
She went on to say, I told you I love you, I replied, you should not say that. I felt bad because I like hearing her say it especially since she hasn't for so long since ILYBINILWY...
She went on to tell me that she is not there yet, but has a lot to sort out in head. I got the feeling that she may want to return home, but still feeling uncomfortable.
So I asked her, What is it that you need or expect from me? She simply stated, "No pressure"
I don't call. I don't text. I don't follow, and there is no R talk or OM talk... unless initiated by W. How do I make her not so uncomfartable here. House is clean, warm and friendly. She gave S18 his gifts from her and they had a warm embrace. W hugged me also... Said she had to go...
Is it possible that she may be telling the truth, that OM (even though) close, is on hold as far as the sex goes. She said to me that she does not feel sexual now because she is confused. But still has to fill her obligations with school which OM is a part of.
After these school related things are over, I believe her and OM will have a lot less in common. Stupid me for thinking that huh!
Time is my ally.
Need advice.... I don't even know what to say right now. I am not down. Actually really happen right now. Finished DR book, understand it, having a hard time with staying away from wife, but have had a couple ocassions where we did talk. Don't think that went to awful wrong.
Just can not get thoughts to leave even though they are not entirly unseting at the moment. For some weird reason, I actually believe her.
Help me to understand what I am feeling right now please....
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
