Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

I did tell her out of respect for her, I would stop using the word affair with her. At this point, I think she knows it. Even on Xmas day, she told me she didn't deserve the gifts with what she had done...

I have to work on detaching, I have not detached very well on Xmas day.

She also said last night that she thinks we need to start talking more if we are ever really going to get things back. That we have to talk more about what we are thinking/feeling and what is bothering us or making us angry.

What are the expert's thoughts on this...seems to go against most advice and sandis do's and don'ts.