I believe mt h was triggered 3+ years ago when his father took a heart attack and went through a quadruple by pass.
we have both suffered through it since then...symptoms actions and reactions getting worse until 8/09 when he left.
all i get out of him is that he is unhappy, needs to regain himself,needs a bit of space, cant do this anymore, cant live like this anymore...nothing specific
I have been in therapy for almost a year, for myself as well as family and marriage.
h was dx as having low testosterone 2 1/2 months ago,also talked about mlc and depression with dr. he cant take a/d now due to the low t. does use androgel...replacement therapy.
his emotions are mixed as well as his signals to me involving myself or our marriage.he'll stay for days ans things will be fine...then at dinner he is ready to divorce...i dont get it.
i could really use some guidance. i have also picked up a copy of dr...i need to detach...at this time of year, with 2 small children, it is next to impossible!
please help!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Hi and welcome sorry for your pain your H seeems to fit the signs of mlc read the rosourses read others threads, you will gain lots of information about the crises it takes time a few points watch the finances..just keep your eye on the bank accounts, credit cards ect make sure bills are being paid for
no Relationship talks say nothing as hard as it is if he complains, listen, do not defend yourself validate him as much as possible try to focus on taking car of yourself and the kids C is very helpful
keep poting you will get support and information every step of the way patience this takes a long time so as you stand for your M work on yourself good luck peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Welcome. You have come to a good place. Peace is right, keep posting and the others will come.
The basics always bear repeating.
This is a marathon not a sprint. There are no quick fixes to this process. Avoid talking about the R but validate when you can. Do your best not to react to anything (at least in front of him)
If you share more details, we will be better able to help and support you.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
No one is perfect and you are going to stumble and fall many times before you are through walking the mlc path. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue moving forward. We all have made mistakes along the way. The holidays tend to be the worse time for all that are on this journey, i.e., emotions tend to rule the heart and we all do and say things that we know are not exactly correct. It's okay, just get up and keep moving forward. Today is a new day.
Keep the focus on you and if you have children, on them as well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
lost1234 you have too many threads going on the boards. You need to keep one going so you can keep track. You are getting the same advice on all the threads.
Don't worry about what happened. worry about what you are going to do, You can only control the future not what has already happened.
